Sine

Here I am again. Posting at unearthly hours.

My life is a Sine-wave. Up and down, up and down.

I'm totally bewildered now. I'm amazed at how much my life can fluctuate when all I've been doing for the past month is simply staying at home.

Wow. Taking repeated looks at issues on hand can result in surprising perspectives sometimes.

Desire

All I ever wanted was a simple relationship.

To love and be loved.

To fulfill each other's needs, wants and desires.

Was it so tough? Was it so difficult that that it took 4 and a half years and never got realized, resulting in heartaches and broken pasts?

Perhaps I was too naive. Perhaps I was too kind, too generous. Perhaps it simply was me being a coward.

All that I have ever wanted are simple. Why is it just so hard for me to fulfill that which I want?

Wayang

That's it.

My IA results has just officially gave me thumbs-up to fuck care trying to be hardworking from now on.

I got a fucking "B" grade despite my efforts and sacrifices for a goddamned industrial attachment.

My friend who played games half the time during his IA got a "B+" despite lousy grading from his supervisor.

Another friend who didn't have to do anything at the workplace except youtube and facebook got an "A-".

Fuck this shit. Never again will I work hard.

Just like my first semester where everyone copied lab notes for submission. Everyone else got minimal "A" grades while I got a "B" for trying to write my own. The following semester I gave up and got an "A".

Hah.

Prove to me that hard work is worth shit.

KNNBCCB. This world is fucking unfair. Thanks to the goddamned B grade my attempt to pull ahead in 2nd class upper is now in danger.

Thank you REC. Fucking big thank you.

Emotions

How can one feel happy and sad, relieved and bothered at the same time?

Silence is golden

Indeed.

Despair.

End.