TAKE THIS SONOFABITCH ACHE AWAY FROM ME AND GTFO OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHH!~!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Call
Should you ever want to, my number is the same.
Should it ever change, I'll make sure you know.
I'm still a friend, and not some stranger.
So should you ever wish to make a call,
You just need to pick up that phone.
I will always make time for you,
Though forgive me if I am tardy.
For that is simply me,
The useless, clumsy me.
Should it ever change, I'll make sure you know.
I'm still a friend, and not some stranger.
So should you ever wish to make a call,
You just need to pick up that phone.
I will always make time for you,
Though forgive me if I am tardy.
For that is simply me,
The useless, clumsy me.
CNY 2012
Bad bad bad.
It's the coldest CNY I've ever been through. Yes, the temperature, the weather is cold.
But that's not what I meant.
Call it my blessing, call it my curse. I see beyond the veil of untruths and lies that lay before our very eyes.
This reunion dinner was devoid of warmth. Just like how my dad was telling me.
Myself? Yeah, I had lots to think about. Way to much to think about, way too many things to remind me of things I do not wish to remember.
Just spring cleaning was a heartache in and of itself. I saw too many things, remembered too many memories.
Adding on is the superstitious fact that Feng-shui Masters and Fortune tellers (if you believe them) are saying that the Year of the Dragon is a shitty one for people born in the Year of the Hare/Rabbit.
(Hah, yet another memory that's fucked up surfacing right now.)
I've been hurt too badly. Nothing can help me now.
It isn't about forgiveness or forgetting. It's the wound that remains. A wound that refuses to heal. A wound that keeps tearing itself open whenever it gets reminded.
And me being me? I get reminded. A lot.
All I wish for now is a clear state of mind, free from distractions so that I can get my work/school done. It's my final semester and I've barely touched on my FYP. I pray I won't get into trouble.
It's the coldest CNY I've ever been through. Yes, the temperature, the weather is cold.
But that's not what I meant.
Call it my blessing, call it my curse. I see beyond the veil of untruths and lies that lay before our very eyes.
This reunion dinner was devoid of warmth. Just like how my dad was telling me.
Myself? Yeah, I had lots to think about. Way to much to think about, way too many things to remind me of things I do not wish to remember.
Just spring cleaning was a heartache in and of itself. I saw too many things, remembered too many memories.
Adding on is the superstitious fact that Feng-shui Masters and Fortune tellers (if you believe them) are saying that the Year of the Dragon is a shitty one for people born in the Year of the Hare/Rabbit.
(Hah, yet another memory that's fucked up surfacing right now.)
I've been hurt too badly. Nothing can help me now.
It isn't about forgiveness or forgetting. It's the wound that remains. A wound that refuses to heal. A wound that keeps tearing itself open whenever it gets reminded.
And me being me? I get reminded. A lot.
All I wish for now is a clear state of mind, free from distractions so that I can get my work/school done. It's my final semester and I've barely touched on my FYP. I pray I won't get into trouble.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Worth
Had a rather bad argument with my mom over a stupid thing that's directly related to her.
Yes, the topic at hand wasn't about her but it as a minor thing that I have to take a constant /facepalm to.
My mom insists that her bikini, which she leaves at my house, is something of a bother, because she believes Men shouldn't touch Women's underwear; it's unlucky and bad.
However, the issue here was me telling her that she was making a big fuss out of it, and as much as I disagree with her superstitiousness, I told her I did as she said and didn't touch it.
Still, that's not enough to convince her.
Yesterday, the night before, I went on a dramatic confrontation between a man and his wife, and a third-party who was a close friend to the 3 of them. It ended up just the friend and the man, minus the wife. Still, with all of the crap that happened, I've accomplished the objectives I've set out to do.
What the issue now is.. is it all worth it?
I don't even know why I bother doing the things I do. I don't even value this relationship anymore. Why should I even be caring a damn thing about it?
Omen or not, haha. I lost the ring. It happened once before, and knowing it was a bad thing, I wanted to get a replacement ASAP (back then). I still remember her telling me: "No need. I've made it clear before if I'm ever getting anything, it'll be a real ring with a real purpose."
I disagreed, but hey, do people listen to me? No.
Funny, given my track record of getting things right when I disagree, which is almost 100%. Hah.
This time round, again, it got lost at a time when things were starting to go downhill. Perhaps its Fate again then, starting to spin its wheels again, taking us to places unknown.
Yes, the topic at hand wasn't about her but it as a minor thing that I have to take a constant /facepalm to.
My mom insists that her bikini, which she leaves at my house, is something of a bother, because she believes Men shouldn't touch Women's underwear; it's unlucky and bad.
However, the issue here was me telling her that she was making a big fuss out of it, and as much as I disagree with her superstitiousness, I told her I did as she said and didn't touch it.
Still, that's not enough to convince her.
Yesterday, the night before, I went on a dramatic confrontation between a man and his wife, and a third-party who was a close friend to the 3 of them. It ended up just the friend and the man, minus the wife. Still, with all of the crap that happened, I've accomplished the objectives I've set out to do.
What the issue now is.. is it all worth it?
I don't even know why I bother doing the things I do. I don't even value this relationship anymore. Why should I even be caring a damn thing about it?
Omen or not, haha. I lost the ring. It happened once before, and knowing it was a bad thing, I wanted to get a replacement ASAP (back then). I still remember her telling me: "No need. I've made it clear before if I'm ever getting anything, it'll be a real ring with a real purpose."
I disagreed, but hey, do people listen to me? No.
Funny, given my track record of getting things right when I disagree, which is almost 100%. Hah.
This time round, again, it got lost at a time when things were starting to go downhill. Perhaps its Fate again then, starting to spin its wheels again, taking us to places unknown.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Storm
My life is going to shit.
Everything I knew is disappearing or changing.
It's like I'm living in a raging storm, not knowing what to expect, fearing the aftermath of the storm.
I always believed that I am someone who's able to handle changes, someone who can adapt easily. That is still true, except that the changes I see being brought about by this storm.. is ridiculous.
Everything that is in my life: my family, my friends, my school, my work, my relationships, my surroundings, my environments, the society I live in.. is changing.
How is it possible that so much can change in so little a time?
This is crazy.
Everything I knew is disappearing or changing.
It's like I'm living in a raging storm, not knowing what to expect, fearing the aftermath of the storm.
I always believed that I am someone who's able to handle changes, someone who can adapt easily. That is still true, except that the changes I see being brought about by this storm.. is ridiculous.
Everything that is in my life: my family, my friends, my school, my work, my relationships, my surroundings, my environments, the society I live in.. is changing.
How is it possible that so much can change in so little a time?
This is crazy.
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