Sin and Punishment

Karma.

The one thing that has driven me to look forward in life has decided that there is one more lesson for me to learn. A lesson that will serve to remind me that, with all good things, there is a price to pay.

A heavy one.

All my life, things have always been smooth-sailing. As much as I have my fair share of ups and downs, I still think that, yes, life's been good to me. As much as I have much to complain about, there is nothing I lack. And whenever I run into a tight spot, eventually everything would just sort itself out, solutions appearing on their own, solving the problem(s) at hand.

When I started to toy with the idea that our Luck is like that of a bank, I started to fear. Fearing that one day, I will have to pay back for all that I have received before.

Allow me to explain:

Luck is like cashflow in the bank. When you get "lucky", it means that you've made a withdrawal. When you're "unlucky" it either means your bank is empty, or that you've just made a deposit with the "luck" you could have used.

Hence, with all the luck I've been utilizing since young, in exchange for all I had, has, have and will have, there must be a price to pay somewhere.

And here it is; my worst fear come true.

The very thing I've always been looking for, the exact thing which I've never expected to ever find, is now mine.

Except for the fact that it's broken. Tarnished. Damaged beyond repair. And the biggest irony was that I actually found it 5 years ago, in its pristine state, without realising it.

This is punishment. My punishment for the sins I've committed. Punishment for having taken beyond what I should.

What do I do now? Everything else is meaningless. I have naught the spirit, will nor energy to do anything else now. Day in and day out, waiting for the days to pass. Waiting.

For what? I do not know. Life's endless surprises is showing no signs of ending, not that I expect it to.

And thus wait I shall. For there is nothing else I can do.

But wait.