Polarity

Ever wished for changes to occur in your life, really bad? And for some unknown reason, it actually came true?

But the insane part of it is that, the changes are such that the original state of affairs took a 180% turn and became the total opposite?

Everything changed.. from plus to minus and minus to plus!

I got what I wanted because it was the exact opposite of the existing situation!
But the good parts of the existing situation ALSO changed to become the exact opposite!

Oh damn. I'm not making any sense, am I?

I'm still going about the same point.. Why is it so hard for me to get what I want when I've devoted myself so thoroughly? Is it really not worth me putting in effort? Why is it that I see things take a turn for the better when I become a mean freak, an asshole? I'm a loser because I'm too nice, isn't it? That's why I always have to become a fucked up person before things will turn for the better?! WHY?!