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I didn't know what to do today.

Everything that I pined for, everything that I was looking forward to, everything I wanted to do.. It all just evaporated into thin air, with me sitting there, right in front of my computer, wanting to do something.

I don't know what I should do anymore. I hardly have time for myself, and when I do, I just wanna do nothing. Perhaps at the end of the day, all I really wanted was time to myself. But then, I just spend it doing nothing. Just sitting there, thinking about stuff, and wasting my time away.

Funny how everything ends up like this. My plans, my ideas, my energy, my hopes and dreams, my future. It's all so full of details and enthusiasm, and yet when the moment arrives for it to actually occur, it all just evaporates, disappearing like a dream after you wake.

I wanted a lot of things, and I never got most of them. The few that I did get, were things I got for myself, or fought for personally.

I too, was given a lot of things. Several taken for granted too, no doubt. I wouldn't say that I didn't receive handouts from people who did nothing but just give, but the problem is: I didn't need those handouts. Sure, I know of people in my life who'd say that people chose what they gave to me because they saw what I needed and gave it to me, instead of letting me have what I wanted cause that wasn't what I needed. (confused? it's intended. =P)

I've said it many times before and I'll say it again. I am a simple person, with simple wishes. Everyone who's heard me say this disagree saying that I'm not. That I'm a complex person with complex wants and desires.

To them I say: No. You don't understand me.

Because sometimes, simplicity in itself, is a complexity.

People have forgotten what it's like to be simple. People have forgotten what simplicity really is. People are used to complexity that it has become the new simplicity, making the original simplicity look complicated.

Don't believe me? Try this: Ask ANY youngsters on how to use a smartphone, and you'll get educated on how to use one really quickly. Now try asking them to teach you to use an old phone, or those INO-phones used by the elderly (those big buttoned, plain black-and-white LCD display screen phones) and see how they end up.

They actually find a smartphone easier to use and teach than an older phone. But the smartphone is a complicated device.

It's just like the calculator and the abacus. Anyone can use a calculator, most don't know how to use an abacus! And what's an abacus? A tray of beads used for counting since thousands of years ago?

I'm sure that years later, when everyone else is more matured, then will they see the point of my arguments. I tire of explaining myself and trying to knock sense into people. It's draining to play the teaching role to everyone, everytime. Until then, stay confused then. I just giving up day after day.

The poison takes its toil, corrupting the soul. 
Faith is lost, little by little, every day.