Dawn

First post of the new year. Not a very happy one too.

1st January 2011, 01.01.2011, or 1.1.11. What a day to remember.

I've embarked on a journey.. to the unknown. And yet, as I hoped that my decision was right.. Things happened.

Her words returned to haunt me. Our chats simply helped to reveal more doubt and shed light on areas that I've turned a blind eye to. And slowly, one by one, her predictions are coming true.

Her sixth sense has always been uncanny, and this time, she was so spot on that I got spooked. No more than a couple of days after the journey began, things happened.

More details came in, with more of the past revealed. It certainly did strike me at the moment that, she had dared to do so because she was certain she had me, that with our status and the fact that she knew I was able to take it, that she would be safe in letting more of her secret be known.

However, the doubt persisted after that. She could say that there are no more secrets, no more unknowns.. However, however, however. That's not the signal I'm getting anymore.

I'll admit it. I'm confused. In fact, I've been confused for a long time coming now.

I'm trying to believe that she is being truthful and is looking forward to a new life.

I'm trying to believe that I'm important enough to her that she would risk everything just to be with me.

I'm trying to believe that she is worth everything I have given up for.

But her actions are making it hard for me to convince myself that my decision and beliefs are right.

Time is running out.. And I fear that the doors will close on me before I have sufficient time to pull out.

Show me the answers I seek.