Bad bad bad.
It's the coldest CNY I've ever been through. Yes, the temperature, the weather is cold.
But that's not what I meant.
Call it my blessing, call it my curse. I see beyond the veil of untruths and lies that lay before our very eyes.
This reunion dinner was devoid of warmth. Just like how my dad was telling me.
Myself? Yeah, I had lots to think about. Way to much to think about, way too many things to remind me of things I do not wish to remember.
Just spring cleaning was a heartache in and of itself. I saw too many things, remembered too many memories.
Adding on is the superstitious fact that Feng-shui Masters and Fortune tellers (if you believe them) are saying that the Year of the Dragon is a shitty one for people born in the Year of the Hare/Rabbit.
(Hah, yet another memory that's fucked up surfacing right now.)
I've been hurt too badly. Nothing can help me now.
It isn't about forgiveness or forgetting. It's the wound that remains. A wound that refuses to heal. A wound that keeps tearing itself open whenever it gets reminded.
And me being me? I get reminded. A lot.
All I wish for now is a clear state of mind, free from distractions so that I can get my work/school done. It's my final semester and I've barely touched on my FYP. I pray I won't get into trouble.
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