I don't understand

Why is it that you can claim to love so deep..
.. but yet be unable to do anything for love?

Why is it that you can put yourself through so much pain..
.. when you couldn't even deal with a slight pinch from before?

Why is it that you insist on having things your way..
.. only to realize that your way is not the way?

Why is it that you refuse to take a step back..
.. only to have to retreat miles away when shit happens?

Why is it that you always chose to wait..
.. when you could have made things happen?

Why is it that you must wait until you have experienced what loss is..
.. before you begin to treasure what you have?

Why is it that you must make everything so complicated and frustrating..
.. when it was all so simple and clean?

Why is it that you must let this happen..
.. when I have always been warning you about it?

Looking back, I have been nothing but honest with you.
You knew what I was thinking.
You knew what I predicted would happen is happening.
You knew that things were taking a turn for the worse but yet chose to ignore the warning signs.

You've asked me questions of which I've answered you truthfully with. Have you never considered, for example, why I would ask for your permission to do the stuff I wanted to with other girls? Why would I want to do that, if I already had everything I wanted, done by you? And more importantly, why do I bother ASKING you in the first place, when I could've just done them without you knowing anything about it?

I thought about what I've wanted from you or wanted you to change about, and even after so long, I still feel that they're minor things:

- don't argue with me over/about the phone
- if you wanna trash things out, we'll meet and talk face to face
- learn to make-up for yourself to be presentable or for special occasions
- dress a little better (better than looking like you crawled outta a hole somewhere, at least?)
- be more intimate to me, behave more like a girlfriend than a "oh i barely know you" friend

And despite those, others than points 1 and 2, have I ever given you shit for not fulfilling my requests? Never. So tell me, why do I put up with your shit for so long? And now you keep wishing for us to have a chance. I'd love to. I'd really, really love to. But look at what you've done to us.

Thanks. Really thanks. Heart pain indeed. Hah.

And I'll never forget 8th June 2010. Thanks.