Toothache

I realize my current situation is pretty much.. like a toothache.

You see.. All these constant pains and aches and troubles.. they're exactly like a toothache. It's irritating, it stays in place, it doesn't goes away and you get into trouble when you eat. You suffer from swollen jaws, bleeding issues. You can't bite, sometimes affecting speech badly. And the ultimatum comes when it hurts so fucking bad you can't do shit until you extract it.

Yes. exactly how I'm feeling now.

So simple solution isn't it? Toothache? See a dentist! Get the offending tooth removed. Done! Ta-dah! Get dentures if necessary, else pray you're young and your teeth still grows.

Yet like all elegant solutions.. there's always the fucked-up catch: The Pain.

The pain of the extraction, the fear of going to the dentist, and amount of losses you have to put up with (money for consultation, loss of time, loss of appetite i.e. can't eat, etc).. is also the exact same with my situation.

I can't let it go right now because no matter how much it hurts, the constant dull pain still beats the worse off pain of an extraction.

Yes I'm lying to myself, the eventuality of the extraction will still come.

But until the moment of choice, I'd prefer to delay it for as long as I can.

Perhaps I'm just waiting for the next one to come along and hence push me forward to end it all.

Probably that.

I'm just a coward afterall.