Insecurity

There she goes. Bomb No. 1 is free. And there's many more where it came from.

I knew it. Facts of my life are so messed up and are so seriously screwed up that I just cannot easily let people know about them. I'm either misunderstood, or judged callously. And as much as I'd say "I don't care.", I'm lying.

I care, and it hurts so much hence the reason why I do not tell people about my life.

And people wonder why I appear so cold/quiet.

This feeling of insecurity stinks. The feeling of not knowing what the other person is thinking, of not knowing how your image in their mind has changed, stinks.

There's so many things to do lately: tests, projects, lectures to attend, but yet, my head is just spinning. Its not stopping. Its thinking and thinking and thinking and running on overdrive that I'm just afraid one day it'll just blow up or something. And I just cannot focus on my work.

I am dissatisfied. Very much so. And yet I am still taking this shit. Whatever for?

Tired.

I just hope the bomb lands right; I can feel the search is nearly over.. Do not fail me now, please. For the love of whatever that is the higher order, please, I need my respite. Let my gamble pay off.

Because she is all I have left.